COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: JAMAICA                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        AGE: 35
CHILDREN: ONE TWIN OF 1 YEAR OLD ( BOY & GIRL , DAUGTHER OF 4, AND A DAUGHTER OF 20                                                                                                 ORIGINAL OCCUPATION : IN JAMAICA, HAIRDRESSER AND WORKS IN A BAR                                                                                                                                              TIME ON THE ISLAND: 12 YEARS

At the age of 8 my parents left for Curaçao because it was very difficult in Jamaica. They left me with my grandfather and grandmother. Fortunately, my parents occasionally came to Jamaica or I came to Curaçao. On my 23rd I decided to also go to Curaçao. My mother was very sick and I wanted to take care of her. The doctors did not know what she had and continued to examine her. She had an operation, but that didn’t help either. Slowly she got sicker and sicker. When she decided to return to Jamaica, I was heavily pregnant with my second daughter and did not have enough money to go with her. Unfortunately, she eventually passed away in Jamaica.

My boyfriend and I both had jobs, and we had good lives. I was cleaning someone’s house and my boyfriend was a gardener. Three years later, I became pregnant with twins. We decided that if the twins were there, I would take care of the kids and my husband take care of the money. My boyfriend lost his job because of Covid-19. We quickly got a backlog for the rent and tensions mounted and concerns grew. One day he said he could no longer cope with the difficult situation and decided to go back to Jamaica. He promised me that he would send money from Jamaica for food for the children. To this day nothing has been heard from him and he has not transferred a cent.

You know, some guys just don’t have a heart. My husband left me.

There is no income and I have to take care of 3 children. Before Covid-19, I had a small income from meals that I cooked and sold at home. Now with Covid-19, no one dares to come for fear of getting sick. As a result, I have no income at all. Will I be very honest with you? I’m so stressed, I just don’t know how to do it all anymore. I can no longer sleep at night. I could end up on the street at any time.

When I still had a job, I saved money. I transferred the money to Jamaica and my sister deposited it in my Jamaican account so that I could use it later when I got back to Jamaica. I thought, “How can I make money now?” My plan was to ask my sister to pay back the savings. Then I can buy things online and start selling them. She kept not answering the phone…. In the end I succeeded. She had many excuses. Something wasn’t right … after a long talk she confessed that she had never deposited the money but that she had used it all up. I was distraught, angry and disappointed. She robbed me. I thought: what do I do now? ”

It is not an option for me to work for men. I absolutely don’t want that. I can’t do that to my kids. It’s not good that they see strange men passing by. I’d rather have a job than work for them.

The problem is, I have nowhere to go with my 3 little ones. Sometimes I wait for my kids to sleep and then I quickly go to the store to do some shopping.

At night when I lie awake in my bed with my 3 kids I sometimes think … why am I alive … I feel so much pressure … When I look at my kids I say NO to myself. I have to live for my children. But all this stress just makes me feel like I want to do crazy things…. I just have to pray and read my Bible.

The reason I can still eat is because there are people who sometimes bring me food. Twice I received a food package from the Red Cross. Unfortunately, I did not receive a ticket because I was late to register.

If only I had a good job. You can only get a good job if you have papers.

Then my life and that of my children would be a lot easier.

Now if I had a job, I could take my kids to daycare while I’m at work. Suppose I had work with which I would earn Nafl 1200, – per month and that I could arrange at the nursery that I would have to pay Nafl 400 per month for 2 babies, then I have some money left to live from. I hope the people giving me that job will treat me well.

I once worked in a retirement home. The owner would pay me ANG 1250, – per month. I had to work from Monday to Saturday. She abused me a lot, you know. In the beginning there was an agreement that I had to clean the big house with 3 bedrooms. Not much later I also had to clean the retirement home. Before I knew it, I was also in front of these people cooking and taking care of them when I wasn’t trained to do that. For this she has hired people specifically.

She knew that I have no papers and that I really need the work. She took advantage of that. I couldn’t do anything at all. The work got more and more. The pressure increased. I also started to lose a lot of weight, my blood pressure went up, and my health forced me to stop working.

What does my future look like? I don’t dare to look at that. My dream…. Something I would really like to do is go to America. My sister lives there too. I would like to go there to find a good job and take care of my children.

In reality, my situation is so difficult now that it would be good for me to go to Jamaica. There my family can help me with the children so that I can look for a job. You only need a lot of money to buy tickets. In addition, I first have to arrange my children’s passports. Buying a passport also costs money. What also makes it unappealing is that my friends in Jamaica tell me that since Covid-19 life has deteriorated very much there.

First I have to solve my problems. I have to make sure I get shelter, because that gives me the greatest stress. Hopefully someone can help me with that. Actually I can use all the help.

I know it’s been a tough time for everyone since Covid-19. We should help each other if we can. That would be good. We need to get together and help each other.